There are times when life gets so busy you don't even get to lay down or sit down till way past after midnight. That's just the life of a mom especially one that has for kids 5 years old and under.
You would think that during those times when you're absolutely exhausted and midnight seems to be the time when everything is acceptable e somewhat done in the house that laying down and getting some shut-eye is the priority. However sometimes I just can't let that pass. Taking a moment for myself and getting in one episode of a show that I've been wanting to see, or playing 40 minutes of the video game, or reading a book for an hour, or enjoying a cup of tea in the patio and zoning out for the next 30 minutes or so takes precedence.
It seems to be a terrible cycle though. Those nights when you're most exhausted are those nights when you most need that rejuvenating activity. But if you push off sleep any longer, inevitably the lack of sleep will roll into the next day causing more exhaustion. When do you just give up your me time? I guess when you can't keep your eyes open any longer at all. But until that happens momma's, fight the good fight and get those activities in that make you who you are. The person that you're used to be before being Mom.
My identity is mom is definitely the most rewarding and most important of all my identities. It'll never go away once it happens. But a time will come when Mom's roles in the children's lives will become a back burner as they go off into the world on their own. I still have to know who I am and what do I like to do and what will fill my time when being a mom no longer occupies every moment of my day.
So I have to hang on, even though my eyes are already closed and I'm dictating this story through exhaustion and tired breaths. Writing is a part of me. I have to push to make it happen. Reading, playing video games, tennis, music and the piano, enjoy the Arts, Etc. These are things that I like to do before being Mom and I still very much enjoy this day. I do believe that sometimes when people don't get these activities that make you who you are and make you be a mom. Without them a person might not have the patience anymore or lose its flavor for life.
Time is fleeting and fast and as a commodity that is of the highest value. Will never get it back you can turn back time and you can't jump to the Future. Enjoying today, integrating that with the duties of the day, and loving all those around us will always be the right path. But hang on to the x when you need something for yourself to keep your identity.
